


Monodies for Captains

by HelenaHelena



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Talos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:28:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22377232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenaHelena/pseuds/HelenaHelena
Summary: Even captains die; Spock returns to Talos after Captain Kirk has been sucked into space.
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Spock
Kudos: 17





	Monodies for Captains

**Author's Note:**

> Read warnings: Anal sex, major character deaths (plural)

Spock tried to cool his emotions as he sat down on the small rock formation in front of the Mojave ranch. He tried to imagine that he was young and hopeful. Making a mental image of having the disillusion that he still thought that it was possible that this could have an ending that included emotional sanctity. 

He straightened his blue ensign uniform before he breathed in sharply. Looking up into the eyes of Captain Pike, looking young and radiant as always. He had his yellow command uniform on. Captain insignia. The captain’s hair was only slightly greying in the sides, like he was in his late thirties.

He looked like he had been when Spock had seen him for the first time. This impossible handsome star fleet captain with impossibly ideals.

Spock felt his emotions slipping again at the sight of the other man. Sorrow and hurt from all the years they had been apart flooded him. The feeling filled his pores, made it hard to breathe.

Pike smiled, dimples, ingenuous: “Spock,” walking towards him. As Spock hesitated, the captain closed the distance between them and caught Spock fingers in a Vulcan kiss. The touch felt real and alien emotions of love and tenderness enveloped him.

He would not have been aware that something was slightly off, if he had not actively been looking for it. But even if the illusion was near perfect, there was that blip, that small thing on the edge of his consciousness that told him that this was not real. None of this.

Spock would not even have noticed that, had he not been as familiar with the other’s mind as he was his own.

But for now, Spock was willing to ignore the feeling, he needed this. For now, he would pretend that everything was okay. “Chris,” Spock said, smiling towards the captain; a smile that he would never have shown, had his emotions not been in a complete jumble, horrible unmanageable. 

Captain Pike looked a bit surprised at that strange Vulcan smile; but Spock just closed the distance and gave a light kiss on Chris’ lips. Two of their fingers were still locked together, as Spock moved his other arm around the captain. Their kiss moved into something more longing. Chris opened his mouth slightly allowing Spock to enter. The smell of his former captain was as true and intoxicating as it had ever been. Sweet, masculine, pleasant, arousing.

Captain Pike pulled away a little. “Spock slow down. Slow down,” he said, a little out of breath. The warm sun rays felt pleasant, and Spock didn’t want to talk, he wanted to hold Chris again, engulf himself and forget.

Captain Pike guided him to sit down on the green grass in front of the large house. Spock would assume that this place would hold some significance to the captain, but he felt disappointed that he did not know what is was.

Their fingers parted, and even with the feeling of something being slightly off, Spock still found it like a void that they did not touch. At that moment he felt like an addiction that was not fulfilled by the parting of their hands. 

Pike let a comforting hand slide over Spock’s sleeved upper arm. The longing for skin contact pulled at him, he was so empty, he needed to be filled by the love from Chris, the calm sweet mind. Even if it might not be completely right.

“Spock, I have missed you.” The captain said in earnest. Spock found it strange, the captain would have been able to obtain an illusion of Spock if that was what he had wanted. But since he could surmised that Chris had not done that, he found the sentiment strange.

“As I you, my friend,” Spock said. He truly had; Captain Pike had been one of friends lost. And maybe even, at least until recently, the loss he had felt most profoundly.

Captain Pike, however, existed here, in this strange place. While other friends were just gone. It had been pleasant to know that Captain Pike had been here, to live happily, and that had been enough for him over the years. He had never visited this place since.

Captain Pike would be happy here with his wife, he had never needed Spock, and so Spock had stayed away.  
“You are unhappy?” Chris asked, even if he clearly knew the answer. “Fleet Captain,” Spock composed himself, tried to regain emotional control as he had been taught from an early age.

“You, if anyone should call me Chris.” Captain Pike said. Spock locked his eyes worried with captain Pike again. For his sanity he would have preferred it to have been captain still or fleet captain, even if the uniforms Chris was currently wearing was that of a captain.

Those names, Michael, Chris, Jim… the ones he had shown his heart to. 

“Chris,” he said again, not wanting to offend. “Are you displeased that I have come?” He asked. He could not see Vina anywhere, but that did not mean that he would be welcomed.

Chris stared into him with his warm blue eyes, and gave a smile, one full of innocence. “I could never be displeased with you, Spock. You have saved me.” Chris closed the distance again between them beginning to kiss Spock caring warm, half closed eyes. Warm hands unzipping Spock’s ensign uniform. Spock slowly began removing the Captain’s uniform as well. Exposing tanned trained muscles underneath the yellow uniform.

He allowed himself to be half lifted to the ground, as Chris deepened his kiss and slowly moving a hand to also uncaps Spock’s uniform pants, A large expertly hand trailing down helping him removing the pants. Spock eagerly pulled them of, allowing himself to be naked before Chris joined him.

Every time Chris’ fingertips touched his skin a jitter of electric entered his body. The other man was on his side next to him in the grass. The blazing sun touching them, caressing Spock’s body. He inhaled the pleasant shape of Chris next to him.

In space, captain Pike had never looked this tanned, now the golden skin had a pleasing glow, and Spock caressed the tanned arm. His heart raced, a trait he had gotten from his mother’s side. The feel of want, desperate need. He could feel how hard he was becoming, he ached to be within the other man, to feel the depth of his body.

As they had meet the first time, Spock pulled himself, rolling to be on top of Chris. He could see that the captain was hard as well. Spock stroked the pleasing shape. Feeling the need to be filled as well.

Realising that they would need to get some lubricant, he looked questioning on the other man, “Provided by them.” Pike said sheepishly, it might also mean that the aliens were watching them. Actually, it would be illogical to assume that the aliens would not be watching them here.

Spock suppressed the feeling of unease, and applied a generous amount of lubricant to Chris’ member, stroking it firmly. Feeling it go hard in his hand. He relaxed his muscles, before straddling the other man, slowly as to not injure him. Slowly sliding in place, feeling the other man’s large shape filling him. He breathed in pure please.

Captain Pike had closed his eyes half, he made slow pleasing sounds, as he held on to Spock’s upper arms. As he allowed himself to be ridden.

“I… ‘m not going to last long,” Chris gasped. As Spock moved the other man all the way in, feeling a strange fullness. A hard pressure on his prostate. He was getting impossible hard as well. He began picking up pace, riding the other man, Spock was now completely lost. He moved his arms around Chris and kissed him, when he finally felt that the other man came deep inside of him.

Spock held even closer to the warm body, as the erection of the other subsided, and together with a sticky fluid rolled out of him.

As they finally came apart, Spock felt the hole in his heart as they were no longer joined. A sharp pain stabbed his mind, when the mind of his love, even this false one, suddenly disappeared.

Spock own erection grew limp as well, at the realisation that it was not genuine. None of it. He moved to rest his head on top of captain Pike’s chest anyway. Snuggling up to him as Chris wrapped his arm around him.

Spock took it as another sign that someone was reading his mind that Captain Pike was not offering to reciprocate. The real Captain Pike would have done so. He would always give more than he took. But now someone knew that Spock did not want to take anything today; that his body wouldn’t even know what to do. In the state it was in.

The hot warm sun caressed them naked in the grass like teenagers who had their first love. Spock marvelled for a moment at his own analogy. This was in many way his first love.

Chris absentmindedly let fingers run through Spock’s black hair. “Spock,” he said, “there was something you wanted to talk to me about.” The captain was serious. It was his serious voice, not the playful one he would use when he teased.

Spock knew it would come, he had come to Talos for this, he had come to talk about this and they both knew it.

Spock composed himself for a moment, wondering for a moment whether an orgasm would have increased or decreased the emotional response that crept past his mental barriers. The sadness, the emptiness, the utter feeling of loss.

He wondered whether this was the illusion and the mind reading dwellers on this planet, or this was Chris. But Chris always knew, there didn’t need to be mind-reading aliens to tell him how anyone from his crew was feeling. They would already know.

“Are you parents okay?” Pike asked, that was the most obvious choice. “I believe my parents are well.” 

He sighed. “The Enterprise B had its maiden voyage.” Spock said quietly. Pike looked at him with surprise. Maybe it was nostalgia. 

“I see. Were you on board?” Chris asked. “No, I did not have the opportunity,” Spock said sad, “there was an accident,” Spock now stared into his hands. Soft and young.

Spock raised his head to face directly towards captain Pike’s sincere blue eyes. Pike waited for Spock to continue. “My friend died,” he said, finally. It felt strange finally saying it. What had he, when all came to all, but that one friend?

“This is Jim, dammit, don’t you feel anything?” Doctor McCoy had asked him. The doctor had also been upset at the time. But yes, Spock had felt.

Pike didn’t question Spock’s feelings; he just moved a comforting hand to the back of Spock’s neck. “I am so sorry, Spock,” Chris said sincerely.

It wasn’t the worst part. “I wasn’t even there.” Not that he could have done anything. There hadn’t even been a body. In space you die alone.

And that was a lie. When Spock had died, he hadn’t been alone. Jim had been there and he hadn’t been there for Jim.

Spock put his head down on Pike’s smooth warm chest again. And Chris wrapped his arms around him.

“I fear, Chris, that I, at this point in time, does not adhere to my own code,” Spock said. “Spock, no one is immune to losing a friend. No one would expect you not to feel anything,” Pike tried. 

They were there for some time, Chris trailing a hand down Spock’s spine. He was holding Spock in the comforting embrace that Spock could ask from no one else.

“Do you feel resentment that I was not here when you died?” Spock asked softly. He looked up to a forgiving smile. Chris shook his head. “No, Spock, I could never.”

“But I never came back?” He asked, of course he should have returned before now, when it was too late. The comfort and warmth from the other’s mind almost felt real, the illusion almost unmistakably true.

Chris placed a kiss on top of his head. “And you will never return once you leave here again,” he said. “Everybody dies, you will find new places to belong, my love,” he said with a sadness that must have been an imprint of someone who had that emotion more than it was an illusion.

If Spock could, he would have cried, staring up at the pain in Captain Pike’s face. The ground beneath him shifted, and the warmth turned into a dull cold. The soft grass into rock. The sunlight into shadows.

The warm body under him disappeared as Spock sat up, looking at the grave. He was again wearing his red captain’s uniform. The Talosians had possible thought that they honoured Chris by putting up a human gravestone. Grey and like a cliché, it read: “Christopher Pike 2202-2270.”

Spock looked down as his hands shaking; the skin had again transformed into themselves. The green veins were visible through the wrinkled skin.

He placed the hand on top of the stone. If he had had more hope, he would like to think that captain Pike’s mind could bleed through from more than twenty years of having been dead. It could not; Captain Pike was inevitable gone and Spock would not again feel his touch again, and the calm warm mind that brushed towards his own.

He felt a tears, his under-developed tear ducts finally beginning to work. Surprised at the unfamiliar wetness, Spock moved a hand to his cheek feeling the odd strange sensation. He stared as the tears dripped on the grey rock making small wet stains.

Chris was right, he would not return to Talos.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. If you like please leave kudos :-)


End file.
